How to Charm and Attract an African

by | Africa

Mar 9, 2024

Does where someone comes from have a part to play in dating? In many ways, yes, it does, especially in the earlier parts of relationships. In this article, we help you crack the code. We show you how to woo the African woman and get her to go on that first date with you.

1. Feminine Nature Transcends Race

There is something that transcends race. And that is nature. 

Feminine nature is the overall nature of women. Women tend to think and act a certain way, responding to the same stimuli in a way that is very different from men. 

Understanding female nature is your first step if you are trying to woo an African woman.

You can easily understand feminine nature by studying the women around you. 

Don’t study what they say. Study what they respond to. This is useful because the feminine nature is rather confusing even to women. They may say one thing and respond to another. 

For example, a woman may describe her preferred mate as a nice guy. But the moment she gets into a relationship with a nice guy, she makes it so hard on him and eventually sabotages everything. 

What does she respond to? This is her nature. This is what she wants. 

2. The African Woman Is Traditional

If I am being honest, I will tell you that the African woman is a traditional woman, unlike women in the West who have evolved to make traditional roles too thin. 

The African woman believes in the traditional family and the natural polarity between the masculine and the feminine. 

If you want to charm and attract her, you have to bear this in mind. 

You don’t have to be afraid to be a masculine man. You have to embrace your masculinity. 

Fun fact: a lot of African women carry a natural masculine essence alongside their feminity. This is because many African traditions insist on women being strong for themselves and for their families. 

You have to be more masculine than the African woman if you want to woo her. No matter how masculine she is. 

Read: 10 Tribes With The Most Beautiful Women in Nigeria

3. Take Your Own Role Early

Assume your initial role early enough.

The dating dynamic is very ironic sometimes. But if you get it right once, you will almost always get it right. 

In the initial phase of the relationship, the man should exist in a pseudo-feminine frame. 

This means he should be the one who nurtures and cares for her. 

This is to pull the woman in and make her feel safe. 

Remember, she has to be your friend first before she becomes your lover, except, of course, you are taking the high road. 

4. Do Know When to Switch

You do not stay in the feminine role too long. Do this, and you risk boring her, such that she begins to see you like one of the guys and you lose every chance to woo her. 

Once you find that she is beginning to embrace your presence and is opening up to your advances, it is time to enter the masculine role. 

In the masculine role, you become the leader.

You move from seeking her opinions to truly embracing what you believe will be best for you both. 

For example, you go from saying: “When would you like us to meet?” to saying things like: “I would like us to go out on Sunday.”

You don’t leave the burden of decisions to an African woman. It goes wrong every time, as she begins to see you like a weak man.

It is hyper romantic to make some decisions for the typical African woman, as long as it is one that does not put her in the face of any risk. 

5. Compliments

I don’t know a woman that is impermeable to compliments. 

They may act like it is not getting to their heads, but you should trust me when I say it does.

The African woman has a thing for being complimented when she likes or is beginning to like the man. 

She yearns to know what he thinks about her.

Compliment her physical looks. 

Let her know you think she is very beautiful, or that she smiles good. 

Compliment her and mean it.

6. Listen to Her Talk

Everyone wants someone who will listen to them talk. Even the African woman. So, when you woo the African woman, hold this in mind. 

You don’t have to do all the talking. In fact, she has to do most of the talking. 

She most likely wants to talk about her culture and the people who have made her life what it is. Let her. 

Bait her into talking about things she is passionate about. 

Ask about her hometown. 

Ask questions about what she foresees her near future to look like. 

Ask, sit back, and let her talk. 

Read: Top Places with Beautiful Women in Namibia

7. She is Interested in You

If she is interested in you, you will know!

It is one thing I tell men. If you ever wonder where you stand in a woman’s life, then chances are, she is not feeling you that much. That, or she is playing hard to get. 

A woman who likes you will leave traces at every point.

The African woman may go ahead to break the touch barrier. 

She may even nudge you into meeting her in a secluded place. 

You should know what this means. 

8. Do You

When you find that she is interested in you, then you must withdraw a fraction of your initial effort. 

A very small fraction of it. 

This is so that she enters into the “chase” role and begins to chase you. 

If you get this right, it works nine out of ten times. 

Just be sure to withdraw the right amount of effort. It makes her come to see you like the prize.

When a woman considers herself lucky to have you, then you know you have won.


The African woman may seem very difficult to woo, but you can. Just beat the initial resistance and you’re fine. 

By Lonely Africa Editors

The Lonely Africa Team covers everything about Africa. Our team of experts provides in-depth analysis that helps you understand complex topics on the African continent.

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