How to Approach African Relationships

by | Africa

Mar 9, 2024

With African relationships, most of the time, what you want is what you get. This is why one must approach African relationships, or relationships with Africans, in a purely different way from how one will approach Western relationships. In this article, I show you just how you should approach relationships with African people.

1. Don’t rush: go with the flow

It helps to understand that you do not rush it with African relationships. You don’t know what happens and when it happens. 

It is like telling a story. You don’t know where the story goes. 

But you know that there’s a story. 

In the same vein, there is a relationship. You know it. But you don’t rush it. You let it run its course and take your time. 

African relationships don’t need to be pushed. They ride themselves. So, of course, you let your relationship ride itself. 

You’ll enjoy it better that way. Trust me, you will. 

2. Know what you want

When you approach African relationships, you must do so with a purpose. You have to know what you want.

Do you want it to be casual? Or do you want it to be something more?

Be clear about what you want from the start and you stand such a big chance of things working out. 

African people usually understand that things don’t always go the way they want. So, they pursue what they want knowing that it may work out or not. 

Have the same belief in mind. 

Hold onto what you want, knowing that whether or not it works out is left to your partner. And that’s fine. 

Read: How to Charm and Attract an African

3. Take your role

African relationships are very traditional relationships. If you are approaching a relationship with an African person, you have to know what your role is and know just how to fill it. 

There are two roles in a relationship: the masculine role and the feminine one. 

Attraction depends on the polarity of these roles. If you both are polar opposites, you will come to truly enjoy the relationship.

The masculine role is the role of the protector and provider. You should be willing to protect your woman from the harshness of the world around her. 

In the same way, the feminine role is the role of the nurturer. 

The woman must be ready to nurture her man. She must be ready to make him feel like he is what matters. And truth be told, he should be what matters.  

4. Never too early to involve family

You should know that it is never too early to involve both your families when you are in African relationships.

In Africa, relationships are more of a family thing than they are a personal thing. 

Marriage is a union of families rather than just a union of people. 

Talk to your girlfriend’s dad. Get him to like you. Do the same with her mom. Get them to like you enough, and you can trust that you will have some of the best relationships ever. 

5. The things you talk about

What do you talk about in African relationships?

One word: passion. 

African people are some of the most passionate people you will ever meet. They love what they do and love it when others love what they do.

So, engage your African spouse in conversations that bring out the childish passions that fill their hearts and give them directions. 

You can talk about a school project, a workshop, or a creative project they are working on. 

If your black spouse is a writer, then you know you’re in for a heavy experience when you sit back and ask: “Tell me about your book.”

Read: Your First Date With the African Woman

6. Honesty

Approach African relationships with as much honesty as possible. 

You don’t have to lie about anything or hide anything. 

One kind of dishonesty people don’t talk about is the act of hiding things. 

Even when you don’t say it, when you hide it, it becomes a lie. 

Don’t keep everything that must be said back in the cupboards. Have no skeletons in your cupboard. Be honest about everything and you will be surprised at how this drives your relationship. 

7. Deal Breakers

What are your deal breakers?

When you approach African relationships, do so knowing that African people have such a firm collection of deal breakers. 

One thing an African may never forgive is cheating. 

They will not stand being cheated on and would not cheat on you most of the time. They also will not tolerate you making fun of their families. 

Ask them what their deal breakers are and try to stay within that box. Don’t cross boundaries, or the relationship is going to meet its end earlier than you realize. People can be firmer than you think.

8. Respect for beliefs

You just have to respect the beliefs of your African spouse. This includes even beliefs that seem a bit too weird to you. 

This is one of the deepest forms of care you can show. 

Respect their beliefs! 

Their religious beliefs the most. African people are often quite moralistic and religious. This is not a bad thing, seeing that it does not harm anyone. 

It might even be beneficial every now and then. Respect these beliefs and you are sure to have a healthy relationship. I can assure you of this. 

9. Avoid I am doing this for you remarks

This is suggestive of selflessness. Sometimes, relationships ought to be run on just pure altruism. 

You don’t have to be right all the time. Sometimes, you just have to let things go and be the fool because that is what is best for you and your relationship. 

10. Vulnerability

You just have to be vulnerable!

You cannot run a relationship when there is no vulnerability. Vulnerability can be considered a set of wheels on a car. 

Without wheels, no car is going to run; no relationship is going to survive. 

African relationships can be very beautiful. You just have to approach them right. 

By Lonely Africa Editors

The Lonely Africa Team covers everything about Africa. Our team of experts provides in-depth analysis that helps you understand complex topics on the African continent.

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